Survivor's Guilt

I wonder how Job felt as he lay in ash, covered with sores.
Did he blame himself as he children died one by one-
each death hurting more than the lesions on his chest and back?
Did he pray for salvation,
hoping to erase the sin that had cost his wife and children their lives.
I wonder if 14,000 sheep or 6,000 camels made him forget
the first time he held his son
or the kiss of his wife.
I wonder how the scars left from the pustules
made him feel as he undressed.
I doubt he felt blessed.
More correctly, I think he remembered running through fields with his children;
I bet he remembered dancing.
I wonder if he cried.