Survivor's Guilt

I wonder how Job felt as he lay in ash, covered with sores.
Did he blame himself as he children died one by one-
each death hurting more than the lesions on his chest and back?

Did he pray for salvation- 
hoping to erase the sin that had cost his wife and children their lives?

I wonder if 14,000 sheep or 6,000 camels made him forget
the first time he held his son
or kissing his wife.

I wonder how the scars left from the pustules
made him feel as he undressed.
I doubt he felt blessed.

More correctly, I think he remembered running through fields with his children;
I bet he remembered dancing.

I wonder if he cried.